The Period Talk in an Immigrant Family

Rose Boparai

When I got my period for the first time I was really confused, I was only taught the bare minimum in school. Before I got my period my mom never really mentioned anything about it. She immigrated here from India, a place where periods were not openly talked about in a woman’s early adolescence. I remember asking my mom questions about my period because I was genuinely confused and did not understand why certain things happened. For example, during my early periods, I often questioned why my cycle was irregular and why I didn’t get my period every month like I was told I should. When I asked my mother, she didn’t have an answer. I asked her what vaginal discharge was, she didn’t know. So naturally, since I was so curious all the time, I started doing my own research about periods and the menstruation cycle. As I got older, I asked my mom why she never talked about it with me and she told me she was never taught anything in school. Her own mother just told her she would bleed every month and then one day it would stop when she bared a child. I was shocked. I asked my mother when she used her first pad, she told me she got her first pad when she moved from the village to the city, so for 7- 8 years my mom used a cloth whenever she got her period. I asked her why the cloth was her only option– she was knowledgeable, she went to school and even college, shouldn’t she know about these alternatives? She explained how this topic was never talked about in school, it was never a subject that was touched upon. Whatever girls in the village knew was passed down from their mothers. 

The older I got, the more my mother learned about the menstruation cycle from me, her daughter. I still do not quite understand why periods are such a touchy subject, it’s a natural process that every woman goes through and, without the proper knowledge or education, women could be putting their health in danger. I remember my mom telling me that there was a moment in time when women were not allowed in any religious temple while on their periods because they were seen as ‘dirty’, because the blood that flows out of their vagina is ‘dirty’. Why are periods considered ‘dirty’? I have so many questions but so few answers. My mother would say this is just the way things were. The lack of menstruation education in India really twisted the minds of young women to the point where they feel they must keep it a secret. I remember my aunt had to ask me for a pad once and she was so embarrassed, she was hiding the pads under her clothes so that no one would notice or see. Why were women taught to be ashamed of a natural process that takes place in their bodies? The period talk is so important. I would probably be the same as my mom and our ancestors if I never received some knowledge from school and if my own curiosity did not lead me to do my own research about my body.